Auto Erotica
From Albert Einstein to Vin Diesel, people from all over the world and from different walks of life, historical and contemporary, have had something to say about cars and our love affair with them. They are featured in film (American Graffiti, Corvette Summer, The Fast And The Furious), serenaded in song ("Pink Cadillac", "Cadillac Ranch", "In Cars", and lauded in literature (Christine, Flesh And Metal, The Last Convertible). Let's take a look under the hood and relish our relationship between man and automobile:
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Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.--E.B. White.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.--Albert Einstein.
The car has become the caraspace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.--Marshall McLuhan.
It's absolutely amazing that I survived all the booze and smoking and the cars and the careers.--Paul Newman.
By the mid 1920s the typical American town was in full sexual bloom. The change came with erotic fashions, literature and movies, and an unsuspected sexual aid, the automobile.--Unknown.
Except for the American woman, nothing interests the eye of the American man more than an automobile, or seems so important to him as an object of aesthetic appreciation.--Alfred Hamilton Barr.
The automobile changed our dress, manners, social customs, vacation habits, the shape of our cities, consumer purchasing patterns, common tastes and positions in intercourse.--John Keats.
The people recognize themselves in their commodities; they find their soul in their automobile, hi-fi set, split-level home, kitchen equipment.--Herbert Hercuse.
I think that cars today are almost the exact equivalent of the great Gothic cathedrals: I mean the supreme creation of an era, conceived with passion by unknown artists, and consumed in image if not in usage by a whole population which appropriates them as a purely magical object.--Roland Barthes.
No other man-made device since the shields and lances of the ancient knights fulfills a man's ego like an automobile.--William Rootes.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.--Unknown.
I live my life a quarter mile at a time. For those ten seconds or less I'm free.--Vin Diesel (The Fast & The Furious)
When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot.--Larry Lujack.
The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual, his shrine to himself, his mobile Walden Pond.--Edward McDonagh.
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.--Unknown.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.--Dave Barry.
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.--Doug Larson.
The car has become... an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete.--Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media, 1964.
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.--Mary Ellen Kelly.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.--Woody Allen.
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.--Dave Barry.
If you think Abraham Lincoln became famous for inventing the town car, it is time to spend a few hours on history.--Bo Bennett.
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living."--Milton Berle.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.--Erma Bombeck.
A car can massage organs which no masseur can reach. It is the one remedy for the disorders of the great sympathetic nervous system.--Jean Cocteau.
Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?--Jack Kerouac.
The car trip can draw the family together, as it was in the days before television when parents and children actually talked to each other.--Andrew H. Malcolm.
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.--Prince Philip.
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."--Rita Rudner.
What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?--George Bernard Shaw.
The winner ain't the one with the fastest car its the one who refuses to lose.--Dale Earnhardt.
My wife wants to have sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.--Rodney Dangerfield.
The power of a car is separate from the way the car is driven.--Edward de Bono.
It can be very, very sexy to drive a car…-Bjork.
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide…Mitch Hedberg.
I said a 10 second car, not a 10 minute car.--Vin Diesel.
The Ford Falcon holds the proud title of Slowest Car Ever Built. In certain areas of the country you can go to a stoplight and find Falcon drivers who pressed down on their accelerators in 1963 and are still waiting for their cars to move.--Dave Barry.
It takes five years to design a new car in this country. Heck, we won World War II in four years.--H. Ross Perot.
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.--Dave Barry.
Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.--Anonymous.
A car crash harnesses elements of eroticism, aggression, desire, speed, drama, kinesthetic factors, the stylizing of motion, consumer goods, status -- all these in one event. I myself see the car crash as a tremendous sexual event really: a liberation of human and machine libido (if there is such a thing).--Unknown.
Their comes a moment when you have to stop revving up the car and shove it into gear.--David Mahoney.
Only in America - do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.--Anonymous.
Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed for automobiles instead of people would have wider streets, larger dining rooms, fewer stairs to climb and no smelly, dangerous subway stations.--P.J. O'Rourke.
What I like, or one of the things I like, about motoring is the sense it gives one of lighting accidentally, like a voyager who touches another planet with the tip of his toe, upon scenes which would have gone on, have always gone on, will go on, unrecorded, save for this chance glimpse. Then it seems to me I am allowed to see the heart of the world uncovered for a moment.--Virginia Woolf.
An artist who has traveled on a steam train, driven an automobile, or flown in an airplane doesn't feel the same way about form and space as one who has not.--Stuart Davis.
I do not believe the introduction of motor cars will ever affect the riding of horses; the prophecies that have been made are likely to be falsified as have those made when the railways were introduced.--Unknown.
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